Posted by: Jaeson D. Rau | June 25, 2014

It Comes From Within

Can you, for just a second, imagine that you are driving down a lonely stretch of highway late at night? The moon is shining bright, you have the window down for some fresh air, and your favorite song is playing on the stereo. Then, for no apparent reason, your vehicle just quits. As you pull over onto the shoulder, you wonder for a minute what could possibly be wrong, but those thoughts are quickly forgotten as you reach for your cell phone to call for roadside assistance. As you sit waiting for the tow truck to arrive, you feel a sense of relief knowing that your vehicle is going to be taken to someone that actually knows how to figure out and fix whatever the problem is.
How often does this happen to people, do you think? I am willing to bet, considering the number of vehicles and drivers on the road, it happens more times every day than we can even comprehend. And when that vehicle breaks down, people do not hesitate to get it in and get it fixed.
This leads me to what I believe is a very important question, why don’t people take care of themselves the way they take care of their vehicles? When your vehicle breaks down, you would never hesitate to get it fixed; yet, when you break down, why do you hesitate to get yourself fixed? Now, you are probably thinking to yourself, ‘But Jaeson, there is nothing wrong with me. Everything is just fine.’
Unfortunately these days, a vast majority of us are broken and we don’t even realize it. Many of us have become disconnected with who we are and do not realize we have the ability to repair ourselves.
But how do we know? How do we know that something is wrong or needs fixing? How do we know that we have become disconnected from our self? Simply put, we can use our feelings to guide us, to let us know where we are at, if we are willing to pay attention. Check yourself for the tell-tale symptoms. Fear, blame, frustration, anxiety, hate, being broke all the time, being fed up or sick and tired; these are all signs that something is not quite right and you need to get yourself checked into the ‘garage’ for a bit of a tune-up. Other major signals, like being very sick or being involved in unhealthy relationships that you can’t seem to get out of, are a sure sign that you have required repair for quite some time.
Once you have accepted there is something wrong, then what? How do you even begin to fix the things that you have possibly done since birth, the things you once thought were normal? How do you change the things that are preventing you from living a life of absolute excellence?

Make a decision

I know all too well about doing the things we do because we think that somehow they are normal. I also know all too well about the things that happen when we decide to ignore the signs that are so desperately trying to let us know that something is wrong and we need to be repaired.
As a young boy, I spent my life in denial of how things really were and I buried myself in lie after lie, somehow believing that the imaginary reality I was creating for myself would one day materialize. Although there were things already coming forth by the age of 10 or 11 that were screaming at me to change what I was doing, I ignored them for nearly another 25 years while things kept getting steadily worse.
By the time I was 14 years old, my parents had been divorced for a few years, and I was very well versed in living completely disconnected from my true purpose. I was living in denial, hoping for something better. Unfortunately, life does not work out so well when you operate that way.
It is said that like attracts like, and by this point in my life, that like attraction was in full swing. I attracted people and circumstances into my life that would change me, and the people around me, forever. I began to ‘rebel’, but not in the traditional sense. It would have been very easy to just rebel against my parents like a regular teenager, but my rebellion was much, much deeper. I was rebelling against myself; rebelling against the gut feeling or intuition that I was simply not living my life on purpose; rebelling in the fact that my life was not going in the direction that it was supposed to be going in. Maybe you, right now, can relate to that feeling?
Although I am, and have always been a good person at heart, ignoring my intuition and carrying on the way I did created an environment that was truly unappealing. Part of me did not want this life, but because part of me was behaving in the way it was, there was no choice in the matter. That is how life works. In time, I was stealing cars, selling and doing drugs, as well as breaking into people’s homes; not what I really wanted to be doing with my life, but because I was unwilling to change what I was thinking and doing, no opportunity could open up for anything better.
Worse than that, though, were the people I attracted into my life. These people were cold and unfeeling. They were truly lacking the fundamentals of empathy, compassion and love; and appeared to have no desire for anything better. It took me until I was in my thirties to realize that the way we think and act attracts the people we have in our lives. Whether they are positive or negative depends entirely on our own state of being.
As I got older, it was harder and harder to remain living my story. There were children from a ruined marriage, there were responsibilities, employees, people that depended on me, but worst of all, there was all this hurt from the past. I wasn’t consciously thinking about it, but it was there, gnawing at me just enough to be uncomfortable; just enough that I couldn’t ignore it.
As I said earlier, I know all too well about the things that happen when we decide to ignore the signs that are so desperately trying to let us know that something is wrong, and we need to be repaired. A massive breakdown, which almost led to suicide, was what it finally took to get me to stop, look, and listen to what was going on in my life. That breakdown was the catalyst I needed to stop the denial; to fully accept that I was not living my life on purpose and that I had needed to make some significant changes for a very long time. That breakdown also gave me the insight to know that who I am is not based on what I have on the outside, but that what I have on the outside is emanating because of who I am on the inside. I also learned that you do not have to have a serious breakdown or contemplate suicide in order to be given the ability to start living your life on purpose and with excellence. All you need is the ability to make a decision. Do you have the ability to make a decision?

It all starts on the inside

In order to move forward, to begin living a life that you can be truly excited and energetic about, you must first look within. It all starts there. You must also understand that there is nothing on the outside that can fix you. There is no pill, no magic elixir, and certainly no amount of money will ever cure the hurt, the emptiness, the distress you are feeling when you pull yourself into the garage for repair. Fortunately, you and I are, in essence, a perfect creation. We have been designed in a way that when something is wrong, it can be fixed. When you cut yourself, your skin heals; when you get sick, the immune system fights the infection. You are capable of healing yourself, and you are certainly capable of changing the way you are feeling on the inside.
What is on the inside will always emanate to the outside; always. In other words, your outer world is always a reflection of your inner world. When you are frustrated, feeling anger, doubt or fear, when you are fed up, these feelings from within you, show up outside of you disguised as poor health, being overweight, feeling tired or depressed, blaming others, feeling as though you never have any luck, hating your job, and the list goes on. These tangible things, these things we can actually see and explain, are the product of the way we feel, think and act. If you have any, or all, of these things happening in your life, maybe it’s time to pull into the garage for a bit of a check-up from the neck up.
We are all aware of the body’s physical ability to heal itself; let’s focus now on the body’s ability to heal the way it feels, and the way it thinks. You can heal the way you feel about your job, your weight, your marriage, your piling debt, by simply making a decision. You can decide that you will stop the insanity, stop blaming other people for how things are, take responsibility for where you are and allow yourself to start living your life on purpose.
There is a catch, though. Once you have taken a look inside and decided that it is time to live on purpose, there is a lot of work to do. The information I am giving you here is only enough to get started, but if you keep at it, you will find that the information that is best suited for you and your situation will come to you, as required. You will find that by simply starting a new path in your life, you will attract the people, the literature, the circumstances, and the teachers you will need to catapult yourself forward; the biggest challenge is just making a decision, then getting started with one thing.

Let go and make room

So what comes next? If you have acknowledged and accepted that there is something that needs fixing, then instead of actually starting to fix it, let go of it. Yes, you heard right; just let go of it. I know it doesn’t sound like much of a step in the overall process of changing your life, but actually it is a monumental step. Through this process, you get to let go of the things that you carry around like dead weight, those things that really hold you back. When you let go of this extraneous stuff, not only are you making room for a new story, a positive story, but it makes everything feel so much lighter. You will find that almost immediately your attitude will change and your energy levels will noticeably increase. I could go on and on about how to let go, but for this article I will simply say this. You will begin to let go when you are able to say thank you for each and every situation that comes into your experience. Allow thanks for the gift of learning, no matter how tough it seems at the time. Remember, these times of struggle will not last forever.
I found that when I let go of the anger, the hostility, the need to be right, I had the energy and the desire to continue moving forward. This, in turn, led me to my best lesson yet, to stop blaming others. When I stopped blaming other people for where I was and what had happened to me in the past, things really seemed to fall into place. With all this space, what I finally found was peace and quiet. Not only did I find this in myself, but it is invariably something my coaching clients and workshop participants notice about me as well.
You will find that once you have some peace and quiet, you can actually take time each day to create what it is you want to feel in your life; you are able to start making changes. Even if they are small changes, and even if they seem insignificant at the time, just know that each one adds its part to the overall picture.
Can you feel it? Can you feel what it is like to have some peace and quiet? Just take a minute right now, put the book down and just focus on your breath. Remember to breathe deep, inhale slowly and exhale slowly. You can come back to this space in a couple of minutes.
It feels good doesn’t it, to have a bit of a break from your story. What is amazing is that the two minutes you just spent being quiet will probably change the way the rest of your day unfolds. Essentially, these are the moments that you will require to start creating a new script for yourself. At first, you may feel guilty, even upset that you are just sitting still being quiet. After all, there are so many more “important” things to be doing; things that you have probably done all your life; things that have never served to put you in a positive frame of mind in the first place; things that draw you away from the feelings of peace and quiet. I understand how this all works. I, too, have been there.
Don’t let this guilt last long, though. You will soon find that when you allow yourself time to be quiet, things get done quicker and with less effort, people around you become easier to get along with, and generally things just go smoother. Ironically, you have extra time now. Allow yourself the quiet time with no strings attached. You will find that as time goes on, it gets easier being quiet each day. You will find that stuff gets done and the guilt slowly disappears.
Let’s backtrack here just for a second and really drive home how important this step is in beginning to live your life on purpose; important because this exercise may not seem to produce any tangible results. We don’t see anything materialize as we are sitting there. You need to understand up front, that you will not walk away from sitting quietly with extra money in your pocket, a new car or a great relationship. The quiet, though, will give you the ability to see a way in creating extra money in your pocket, a new car, or a great relationship; possibly all at the same time.

Just breathe

So let me offer up a simple visualization exercise that has helped me transform my life from constant pain and anger, to one of peace and love. I believe that this is a great exercise; it takes no real effort, you will not need any help and it can be done any time of the day or night.
While you are sitting somewhere comfy, with no distractions, focus for a few minutes on your breath, allowing your mind to go still. In today’s fast-paced world, the importance of breathing has been forgotten about, most likely because breathing is something the body just does in order to stay alive. Breathing could be described as something your body does on auto-pilot. Being aware of your breath allows you to be present; it allows you to take a break from the drama and chaos and allows you to become creative.
When you feel relaxed, imagine the part of your life you want to change in as vivid detail as possible. Imagine this part of your life the way you actually want it to be, and just enjoy it for a minute. And then, try and capture the feeling of what the image is emanating. If you are imagining happy times with your spouse, what does that feel like? What will that situation do to how you feel? Do you have butterflies? Maybe you are excited or overcome with emotion. Get into the feeling, the part of this experience you can’t see. Once the feeling is inside of you, and it becomes a part of you, it will emanate out and show up in ways that are more tangible. You will have to work at this every day for some time, but it is truly worth it. I have been practicing this exercise now for a few years and I can honestly tell you that I am absolutely amazed at the things happening in my life. Sometimes I wish it hadn’t taken so long to discover this process, but it is so worth the wait.

Watch your daily intake

The next thing I want to offer to you is simply this; begin keeping track of what is going into your body. Become aware of what is going into your body whether it is through the eyes, ears, or mouth. Every single thing that enters the body affects how it is working, which in turn, ends up contributing to the way you are feeling and the success you are experiencing.
It is truly amazing the number of things people do on a daily basis that tend to promote negative results. Turning negativity around, at first, might seem like a bit of work. That is to be expected; after all, it is the harder thing to do. What are you eating and drinking? What are you watching on TV, and exactly how much TV are you watching in a day? What kind of music are you listening to?
Change whatever is producing negative results to something that will help you feel more positive. Keep track of what you are changing, in whatever way works best for you, and monitor the positive changes taking place. When I first started doing this, I kept a journal. I would keep track of what time I got out of bed, how I felt, what I was eating for breakfast, what I accomplished with work that day; just to name a few examples. I found it very easy to see where I needed to do some work and was able to really focus my attention to make some very significant changes in my life. In only a few short years, my whole life was turned around. With awareness and focused attention, you can most certainly do the same.
So look after the vehicle that is your body. With these few simple tune-up procedures, and with continuous care and maintenance, your journey on the road of life can be smooth, effortless and incredibly enjoyable. Relax and enjoy the ride!

 

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