Posted by: Jaeson D. Rau | September 23, 2011

Because we are all connected

It is said that we hurt the one’s we love the most. And now I finally know what that means and why it rings so true.

Over the last few months, ok, maybe the last 5 or 6 months……..I have allowed myself to lose the connection I once had with my source. For those of you that don’t know what I mean by that, I mean this. My source of inspiration, my source of creativity, my source of love and happiness. And yes, you have this source as well, no matter how far out there you think this idea is. Our source can only be cut off by one thing, and that is choice. When we choose to make things difficult, when we decide nobody loves us, when we think we have no purpose here, that is cutting yourself off from your source. And lately I have done that very well, and with great consistency.

Over the last few months I have been trying to finish writing the first book in “The Road To Recovery” series. Truly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. As I write, I get to re-live some of my past, something I never wanted to do. I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity, angry at myself for how I had lived my life in the past. And that is all it took to completely disconnect from source, and hurt the one person that loves me the most.

Cutting yourself off from source quickly becomes a domino effect, once one piece falls, the rest begin to fall, only problem is that they pick up speed. As I became angry about the past, I focused on things like not spending enough time with my kids, not having enough money, feeling as though I had been steamrolled when I got divorced, and beginning to doubt that anyone would want to spend their life with me in any sort of healthy relationship. Basically, I ignored everything good in my life, everything that was looking me in the face, and focused on things that were not real, things that needed to be created in my thoughts, created by choice.

My actions, the same as so many people out there today, have put a strain on a once healthy relationship. I used to wonder what was wrong as I walked past people on the street, in the mall, as I drove down the road. And now I know. By choice (and holy crap, I should know better) I allowed myself to create a cycle that would inevitably affect everything and everyone around me. You see, we are all connected, and when you are not living your life the way you were intended to, it effects everyone. The energy that you emanate out is going to effect the people you come into contact with and then it will come back to you, no matter whether it is good or bad, and whether you want it or not.

We hurt the one’s we love the most because we are connected to them the deepest, we are connected both ways, and usually with some sort of deep emotional investment. when we allow ourselves to fall, we take the one’s we love with us, even if it is unintentional. Luckily for me, Jessica was able to somehow stop the domino’s from continuing to fall. Within a few hours I have been able to see again what is real, and what I am truly grateful for, I feel like a different person.

As you go through your day, be aware of how you are treating yourself, what choices you are making, and how you are effecting the people around you, especially the ones you love. The choices you are making, and the way you are acting really does affect the people around you

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