Posted by: Jaeson D. Rau | May 30, 2010

Responsibilities of a Parent

The thing I am so amazed at is timing, I was just thinking the other day that I needed to write a new blog, and having a great deal of trouble with what to write about. Not a day later, while my good friend Jenn and I were messaging each other, she asked me to write a blog about being a responsible person. I asked her if I should write it directed as an individual or as a Parent, she allowed me the option. Well, here is what you get. Thank you Jenn, I appreciate all the support you have offered me on my new path, this blog is dedicated to you.

As the facilitator of a support group for men, I frequently sit and listen to the trials and tribulations of many other parents. As I sat with one Father, I realized that it really is true that everything starts at home. The responsibility we have to help show our children the right path is absolutely huge, and when we falter, it does filter out into society, just take a look around. As with most homes today, you couple the difficulty of raising a child with a divorce and you have the makings for a long, hard road for your child(ren) to succeed. Although my expertise is in Parenting after Separation, the basic responsibilities of Parenting are the same whether your home is broken or not. I want to ask before we get going to far……..  Why have we become such bad Parents? And if you were given the proper information, would you be a big enough person to make the changes necessary to help your Child(ren)?

The Responsibilities of a Parent have been long forgotten and we have made room for EGO, Selfishness, Greed, Power and Control (mostly in divorce), not to mention as Parents we are lazy and practice avoidance whenever we can. Would it really be so hard to make things right? Would it be so hard to actually start being Parents again and teach our Child(ren) how to be responsible and serving members of society? Our new babysitters are “Call of Duty” and “Halo”, we ask our kids to microwave something out of a box while we work, work, work so we can drive a better vehicle than the person next door. After owning an electronics company for 20 years and pretty much working on vehicles everyday, I can tell you that unless your vehicle was made in Europe somewhere, you are probably driving a piece of garbage that you paid way to much for. And all the while you are neglecting your duties as a Parent. (but that’s ok, you look good in your fancy ride that you probably can’t really afford)

When we become Parents, the right to become selfish stops. It is your responsibility to make sure you are doing what you can to provide tutelage for your Child(ren), that is your job as a Parent. You must lead by example, show them through action what it takes to lead a fulfilling life. How is it that our kids of today are addicted to violent video games, don’t even know what water tastes like and are a part of the largest spike in obesity and laziness to ever hit our planet? Let me tell you how.

We are doing a bad job Parenting! What? Did you think the answer would be longer?

Take some time out of your hectic day, see if there is something you can improve on. Your Child(ren) don’t need a cellphone, they don’t need pop, food out of a box or video games. They need you to spend time with them, they need you to show them how to be healthy and have faith in themselves. If you are divorced they need to spend equal time with each Parent, and those Parents need to put their differences aside and have a Parenting plan in place. Talk to your Child(ren) and  be present for them. Do what you can to make even a small change and the reward will be worth it. The reward will be looking you in the face.

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Responses

  1. I always look forward to the things you have to say, but this one really hit me today. My kids live full time with their dad, which isn’t ideal for me, as I don’t get to see them nearly as often as I’d like to. I find myself guilty of practicing avoidance, although I believe my children are truly great kids. I see their dad continually trying to “keep up with the Jones'”, and I know in my heart this is affecting them, especially my oldest. She is only 8, and is wanting the best of everything always, something which I cannot always do. It saddens me to think that they are going to grow up thinking that being happy is conducive to how much “stuff” they have. When they are in my care, which like I said, isn’t often enough, I am not like that. I’m hoping they get enough insight from me to realize that happiness isn’t based on how much you have. Another point I’d like to make is I completely agree with you on the equal time aspect when coming from a broken home. My children don’t get to spend enough time with their mom, and I know later in life it’s going to be detrimental.
    I’m not good with my words, never have been, but I just wanted to say thank you for what you do. I look forward to hearing many more wise words from you, and as a friend, I’d like to congratulate you on how far you’ve come. I know it isn’t easy, and I’d like to say, in case you haven’t heard it enough, I”M PROUD OF YOU!
    Mel

  2. Jaeson, you are a gift.

    Please keep writing and I will spread the word of mouth! 🙂

    Teresa de Grosbois

  3. Jaeson, you are constantly teaching me how to be a better person. I may have suggested the topic but your are the knowledge and insight behind it. I hope that when I have children of my own I will be able to be as good an influence on them as you are on your boys.

    Your true and loyal friend,
    Jenn

  4. Read this one after the second part. I agree with much more of what you are saying here. We do need to be present with our kids — and that is sorely missing from most parenting relationships I see, too.

  5. Reblogged this on Fathers Aware and commented:
    Thought I would re-post this, please let me know what you think


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